His Computer Crashed

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Time: 4:43
© 1996 Incredible Vibrato, BMI
On "Business Blues" by Marketing Mike and the Suits
Avaialble through BizBlues Records at http://bizblues.com

His computer crashed
All his work's been trashed

My computer broke down and I'm all alone
I asked MIS for help, they said you're on your own
The computer company don't even answer the phone
I asked when MIS last backed up my files
They said let's see -- sorry, not in quite a while

Got a big presentation tomorrow at nine
Computer ate the file so I gotta do a pantomime
Spent all night on that new business plan
That file's gone with the garbage man
My job's down the shoot 'cause my system won't boot

Techno-babble jargon fills the screen
Trying to fix this thing makes me wanna scream
CD backslash copy star dot star
Nothing I try gets me very far
Application error, I'm frozen in terror

Pictures called icons supposed to be easy to use
I don't know that they mean, they just give me the blues
They're just nonsense fillin' the screen
Only the trash can looks like something I've seen
Abort retry ignore, I can't take it any more

No matter what I do this computer's still down
Maybe there's a new virus around
Whoever said computers will help you go far
Could make a lot of money selling used cars
They sell computer gear, and then they disappear

These darn computers supposed to make your life easier
But none of them work as advertised
They're gonna walk me out the door
Take away my badge
They don't believe I wrote that new business plan
But I did...
The computer just ate it!
It's not my fault...

Bought a new program, then I tore off the shrinkwrap
Opening that box put me in a licensing trap
Buy a program, don't even try to return it
If it doesn't work you might as well burn it!
Tried to take it back, they said I was cracked

They make a big deal that the computer says start
But that's the end of the easy part
Tried to install an upgraded program
Froze my machine, ate up all the RAM
Sure it says start, then you gotta tear it apart

The great video they promise is just a tiny square
They advertise features that just ain't there
Bought the best computer they had in the store
Six months later it's no good anymore
Need help, they don't care, forget about repair

The words above were written by a songwriter who is desperately trying to make a living. Copying, retransmission or unauthorized reuse of this work not only violates federal copyright law, punishable by civil and criminal sanctions, but is outright theft and harms this author's livelihood. Please don't do it. For special permission, contact BizBlues Records.

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