The Annual Distributor Bash

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Time: 1:56
© Incredible Vibrato, BMI
On "Marketing Blues" by Marketing Mike and the Suits
Avaialble through BizBlues Records at

The annual distributor bash
Sucks a lot of cash
We know we gotta stroke 'em
But the disty numbers are trash

We take em out boats
When we'd rather slit their throats
We're better off going direct
Than using these rejects

We give them Wild Turkey
They don't rate beef jerky

We impress them with senior staff
These disties sit there and laugh
'Cause they're buddies with our boss
They hang out and hit the sauce

We brief them on our new line
We hope they'll make sales climb
Every year it's the same
New product info they don't retain

Then they're off on a mission
To compare us to the competition

Whoever strokes them the most
Is whose products they push the most
Every year it's the same
Except it gets even more lame

We're afraid the numbers'll crash
But they're already trash
So we spend money on another batch
It's the annual distributor bash

A total waste of cash
But they're buddies with the boss
So we can't fire em

The words above were written by a songwriter who is desperately trying to make a living. Copying, retransmission or unauthorized reuse of this work not only violates federal copyright law, punishable by civil and criminal sanctions, but is outright theft and harms this author's livelihood. Please don't do it. For special permission, contact BizBlues Records.

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