The Sales Force Wouldn't Push His New Product

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Time: 4:02
© 1996 Incredible Vibrato, BMI
On "Marketing Blues" by Marketing Mike and the Suits
Available through BizBlues Records at http://bizblues.com

My boss started a new product line
He promised loads of orders in no time
Then development slipped by two whole quarters
The president asked where's all those orders?

So he forced me to do the product launch anyway
Even though the best guess for a shipment date was someday
He glossed over that nothing was shipping
By showing the president a pound of press clippings

He conducted the new product course
For the entire sales force
(that's when he got his)

He told sales to start talking now
Before the product was out
Big commissions would be a lock
If you sell it before it's in stock

I noticed during the briefing
That the sales force was sleeping
My boss thought they'd see things his way
Then l heard the salesman say

Your product sounds really fine
But marketing's fed us too many lines
We listened to you ten times before
We don't believe marketing any more

My boss almost fell on the floor
Then they made it worse when they said:
Marketing never backs up its claims
It's more interested in playing games

So put a lock on this new product talk
Until you can show us you got it in stock

My boss looked like he was gonna die
He bent over and started to cry

The sales force won't push his vapor
No matter how many articles about it were in the paper

He got his
Pulled a power play by starting and grabbing a new product line
He didn't meet his objectives
Then it backfired no matter how much he tried to cover it up
And use the marketing department to cover up his failure
And make sales hate marketing even worse

The words above were written by a songwriter who is desperately trying to make a living. Copying, retransmission or unauthorized reuse of this work not only violates federal copyright law, punishable by civil and criminal sanctions, but is outright theft and harms this author's livelihood. Please don't do it. For special permission, contact BizBlues Records.