Trade Show Blues

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Time: 5:49
© 1996 Incredible Vibrato, BMI
On "Marketing Blues" by Marketing Mike and the Suits
Available through BizBlues Records at

Boy, I got those trade show blues
It's 2 am, I need to snooze
3 days, my feet hurt beyond belief
2 more days to go, there be no sign of relief

I got those trade show blues
Now it's time to get the hell out of these shoes, yeah!

The only reason my company's here
Is 'cause our competitors come every year

I got those trade show blues
Gotta go to all the right parties scarf down that
finger food, yeah!
What this stuff does to your body is really rude

But you gotta eat it -- because in this town
A 30 dollar per day per diem, all it's gonna get you
is a tuna fish sandwich!
Once a day. That be it baby

Boy, I got those- those trade show blues

Go to publishers meetings at 7:30 am
Walk around the exhibit hall all day long
Pass out literature that only your competitors read

Stamp inquiry cards, go to a bunch of receptions
Where all they have is
Champaign and little crawly hors devours
And stuff that looks like it's from your high school biology class
Sitting on a cracker

Then go out to all these parties
You really don't want to go to but you need to be seen
Even though nobody is gonna remember
Whether they saw you or not

Everybody acts like they be so glad to see you
While one of their eyes is looking for the next
person To greet for five and a half seconds
Same as you

Then you stagger back to your room at 2 am
Start all over again at 7:30 am
Just like a bunch of rats in a maze
Getting electric shocks

And the maze be the exhibit hall
By the fourth day, all you want to do is go in the bathroom and puke in a stall

Admit it -
the only reason your company is here
Is 'cause all those other companies are here

Could've done a lot more with this budget
Than be a masochist for a few days
But no, we should all be like lemmings, follow each other around

They're doing it, so why don't we?

Go a thousand miles away
Just so you have a bunch of meetings
With companies headquartered right
Down the street from you

Go have a bunch of meetings with publishers
And editors, other companies
That come around and see you all the time

See all the people you see anyway
During the normal course of business
Just stick them all in a room
The size of a shoe box
And call it an industry event

It's the trade show blues

The words above were written by a songwriter who is desperately trying to make a living. Copying, retransmission or unauthorized reuse of this work not only violates federal copyright law, punishable by civil and criminal sanctions, but is outright theft and harms this author's livelihood. Please don't do it. For special permission, contact BizBlues Records.

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